i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
