Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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