Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
