The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
