I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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