so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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