I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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