weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
