chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
