Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
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I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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