Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
