You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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