What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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