is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
