What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
