Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
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he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
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I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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