my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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