My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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