Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
