The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
