NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
