i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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