your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize