He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
