My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
