READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
