i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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