I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
