this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I showed him my bush... on skype.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
