Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
