his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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