Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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