i don't like sucking hair
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
