what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
