Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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