Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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