You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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