honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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