I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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