they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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