Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize