How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
