we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
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The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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