my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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