my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
