just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
