There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i've created a new STD.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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