Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I supernannyed him into submission
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
