It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
