It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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