I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
