I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
honey bunches of taint.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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