Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
