and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
