Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
