Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize