Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
