me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
