Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
