I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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