Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
