kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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