Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
